Struggling

I’ve been wanting to post something all week but I’ve been exhausted and in pain. Work was stressful this week. It’s not enough that my job is physically tough for me. It’s also mentally draining. Dealing with the public isn’t easy, to put it simply. Most of the people that come in are rude, demanding, and impatient. There is no reason for anyone to scream at me (especially when I didn’t do anything wrong). That type of behavior is disgusting. It was like that all week. It seemed like 9/10 interactions with customers were negative. First of all, I don’t deserve to be disrespected. I work hard and go out of my way for people all the time. Second of all, I get paid a very low hourly wage so honestly, I don’t get paid enough for this s**t.

My pain level for the past couple weeks has been through the roof. I know part of it is because I worked three 40-hour weeks in a row. My bank account is smiling, but my body is crying. Also, there was Easter, a concert, and dealing with details concerning the closing on my condo. We are closing on Friday, the 24th, as far as we know. This process has been incredibly stressful from start to finish. Nothing went smoothly. Even the simple things were extra work. It’s been a nightmare, but it’s almost over. And then comes the fun part: actually moving. HA. Thank God for my husband, who unfortunately will be doing most of the labor. I will do what I can, but I really can’t lift or carry much of anything. Our condo is on the second floor too, so it’s going to be a real challenge for me. I was able to take one day off for when the furniture gets delivered. That’s it. That’ll be our first night in our new home, which includes transitioning my cat into a new environment. Then the next day we both have to get up early and go to work. And leave my poor cat alone in a new place. I tried to take that following day off but there’s no one to cover my shift.

I’m happy I have today and tomorrow off, but I have a lot to do. I’m in the process of doing laundry right now, but I have to go through more clothes and make donation bags for things I don’t want/don’t fit anymore. Then the worst part will be sifting through all my paperwork. My parents have a shredder and I’m sure I’ll be borrowing that. I have to organize everything into folders and throw out or shred what I don’t need.

With all that said, all I want to do is rest. I’m beyond exhausted and I’m in severe pain. I hurt everywhere. I want to cry. I haven’t really told anyone how bad the pain has been because I don’t know how to describe it. Not to mention, no one understands. My husband tries, but as anyone with fibro knows, unless you have it, it’s extremely hard to describe. The “I feel like I got hit by a truck” description only goes so far. There’s so much going on right now and I can’t take anymore, mentally or physically.

Thanks for reading.11148659_1084056321611741_8463525799085809100_n

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