Life as it is now

Just a little back story first…

I went to grad school between 2008-2009 and got a Master’s Degree and teaching certification in Elementary Education. I did a full-time internship at an elementary school and 13 weeks of student teaching as part of the graduate program. Then I subbed and tutored for years and couldn’t find a full-time teaching job. I left my last job as a reading tutor because the tutoring program was a complete mess, the students weren’t learning at all, my supervisor was demeaning, and I began to have severe panic attacks again. All this on top of my then-undiagnosed pain.

After a year of searching for jobs, I was finally hired as a pharmacy technician at a retail pharmacy close to home. I’ve been there for almost 7 months. (How’d I go from education to pharmacy? I had worked as a tech for 6 years during high school and college, but only part-time. Just in case you were scratching your head 🙂 ) Anyway, I work 32-40 hours a week and my shifts are usually 8-9 hours. I like my boss and most of my coworkers, but it’s a tough job. It’s a stressful, fast-paced environment for anyone, but for someone with fibromyalgia, it’s even more difficult. I’m on my feet the whole time, with the exception of a 30 minute break (which doesn’t consist of sitting the whole time either). When I come home, I can barely move. I force myself to eat dinner, change, and get into bed as fast as I can. I need the money so I have to work. It is what it is.

The other big deal going on in my life right now is my husband and I recently bought a condo in January. We were SO excited because we’d been living with my parents and couldn’t wait to have our own place. (We couldn’t afford to live on our own until I found a job). Well, we’re STILL living with my parents because the stupid banks denied our loan twice (after already being pre-approved). Apparently the banks didn’t like my gap in employment, blah blah blah. Crappy situation. We’re in the process of re-applying, using a co-signer this time, and I hope it works. Moving in general is stressful enough without all this extra bs.

Lately my anxiety has been real bad, which of course makes my fibro pain worse. When I’m not working, I’m at home. I don’t want to go anywhere, see my friends… I have no interest. I’ve completely isolated myself these past few months.

Today is a lazy Sunday. I’m in pain and dreading the long work week ahead. I’ll be watching Criminal Minds, Law and Order: SVU, hangin’ with my cat, and checking out what my fellow fibro fighters are up to.

Thanks for reading.



One thought on “Life as it is now

  1. If work is causing you a lot of stress, you should try to find something that is less demanding but has similar pay. Stress will only make you feel worse. How about your husband? Is he able to get a better paying job? Or maybe try to have your duties reduced or if you can be seated more? Try to speak to your employer. They might be able to accommodate.

    Everyone needs to be alone from time to time. It’s healthy to clear the mind to relax. But we all need friends/family to socialize with. I’ve been there. I’m still there but I am working on it. Doesn’t mean you need to go out and exhaust yourself. A phone call or a short visit. Surrounding yourself with positive people.

    Lazy Sunday for me too! I too like Criminal Minds 🙂 Spent my free time going through some old photos with a glass of wine. How time flies! 🙂


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